The Texts of Steve and Tony
by Laree England
Summary: Tony has an experiment or two that requires Steve's cooperation. A texting role play conversation between me and the ever-amazing and genius FlyingMachine1! For Steve and Tony's frienship and bromance! There's also lots of humor along with the hurt/comfort! Taking requests for future rps!


**A/N: So this is our first texting roleplay conversation. I was Steve, and my personal best friend FlyingMachine1 was Tony. As you can see, most of the genius came from her. So I'm giving her 12% of the credit : ). Let us know what you think and if you have any requests for conversations in the future!**

**Tony:** Hey, old man. You want to be the main subject in my latest experiment?

**Steve:** I don't think that I want to be experimented on with things that I can't even pronounce.

**Tony:** Ah, well, it's too late now! You see, my experiment was seeing how long it would take you to figure out how to reply. I must say, it did not take as long as I had thought!

**Steve:** Well, then, I guess that there is no further reason for me to text you.

**Tony:** Ah, no, Cap! You see, there is another experiment that requires your… cooperation.

**Steve:** The way that you just phrased that is giving me pause. This isn't going to end badly, is it?

**Tony:** I am deeply wounded by your lack of trust. Captain, have I ever steered you wrong?

**Steve:** Ha! When you dragged me to that club in New York, when you told me that that pepper wasn't spicy, when you intoxicated my water and tried to get me drunk (that is physically impossible for me, by the way), and you literally steered me wrong when we were trying to drive to D.C. and we ended up at the Canadian border…

**Tony:** You know you had fun at that club, how was I supposed to know that you couldn't handle spicy food, who doesn't want to get drunk (or try at least), and I purposefully had you go to Canada. I was hoping that we would run into Captain Canada and you two would fall madly in love. I fail to see how any of those things ended badly.

**Steve:** I don't even know who Captain Canada is! And I don't plan on falling in love any time soon, so put it out of your mind.

**Tony:** Suit yourself, gramps. Anyway, back to you participating in my experiment…

**Steve:** Well, I guess that I don't even have a say in the matter, so… what's going through your dark mind?

**Tony:** Well, Thor brought back some Asgardian wine, and I was thinking we should see if we can't get you drunk!

**Steve:** Is that where everything goes back to with you, Stark? Getting drunk?

**Tony:** I'm going to be honest with you, I am moderately to extremely drunk right now, and I don't understand the question.

**Steve:**Stark! We have a meeting with Fury tomorrow! I do NOT want to have to clean you up five minutes beforehand again!

**Tony:** Ok see, that's the whole reason for why I am drunk right now. Do you honestly think I could sit through one of Patchy's meetings sober?

**Steve:** He is your boss. Show some respect.

**Tony:** He is a director, not my boss. Therefore, he does more directing than bossing.

**Steve:** He is still your superior, Tony!

**Tony:** I am Tony Stark. I have no superiors.

**Steve:** Playing the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist card again, right? A man's worth is not determined by social status and wealth.

**Tony:** Yeah, but they can't hurt!

**Steve:** So are you set on this experiment, or can I pretend to be on the other side of the country and leave you to your own demise?

**Tony:** Captain, if you don't drink the alcohol, I will.

**Steve: **I'm on my way.

**Tony: **Yeah! There's the team player that I knew was in that muscle mass somewhere!

**Steve:** I'm only doing it for you, Stark. I don't want you to make a fool of yourself. Again.

**Tony:** Oh I knew you cared! And I never make a fool out of myself. I enjoy myself and then pass out. Never do I fool about.

**Steve:** You concocted this whole thing beforehand, didn't you?

**Tony:** Well, I am a genius. And you are rather entertaining.

**Steve: **…In what way?

**Tony:** I find your blissful ignorance hilarious.

**Steve:** I am a man out of his time. Not ignorant.

**Tony:** My most humble apologies, Capsicle. You are, indeed, a man out of his time. Tell me, do you miss riding the dinosaurs?

**Steve:** How old do you think I am?

**Tony:** Physically, or mentally? 'Cause mentally, I don't think science has yet to determine a number high enough, buzz kill.

**Steve: **Hey! I'm letting you try to get me drunk tonight! Buzz kill…

**Tony: **And you're only doing it to prevent me from getting drunk off my ass. Between you and The Incredible Den Mother Banner, I will never have horribly irresponsible fun again.

**Steve: **You got that right, Stark. You can thank me later.

**Tony:** See, and what is wrong with thanking you in a drunken state?

**Steve:** Why would you thank me for keeping you sober while your drunk?

**Tony: **Because I'd be drunk. I don't know what I'm saying.

**Steve: **Fury is going to have my hide. Somehow this will all be dumped on me.

**Tony: **Because you're our captain and therefore, our babysitter. Maybe you would have been better off still frozen.

**Steve: **That was low, Tony. I'm just doing the best I can.

**Tony: **Hey, I never said you weren't doing a good job! I mean, have any of us killed each other yet? No? I'll take that as a good sign!

**Steve: **Tony… you once said that everything special about me came from a bottle. Do you still believe that?

**Tony:** Well I did. For a while I did. But after I got to know you and we fought side by side, well. I know some things, the important things, can't be made. Believe me, I've tried to make them, but things like… heart and bravery, those are things you're born with. And those are things you have an overabundance of, Cap.

**Steve:** You must be really drunk to be thinking that highly of me. And voicing it, for that matter.

**Tony:** Gee, I compliment your perfectness and this is the thanks I get. And there is a reason as to why I am called a genius. I am very capable of higher level thinking.

**Steve:** I'm just saying that you would never say those things if you were in you were in your right mind.

**Tony:** Yeah you're right, I probably wouldn't. That doesn't mean that I don't mean them. In fact, it definitely means that I do mean them. When I'm sober, I begin to think straight and act like how I think I should be acting and back up go the shields. The iron man with the iron heart. Hey, that's kind of catchy…

**Steve:** So you're really just a big softie underneath all of those walls you put up?

**Tony:** Well, there is some bad assery thrown in there, as well as some genuine snarkiness, but, contrary to popular belief, I do, in fact, have feelings. And if you repeat that to anyone, drunk or not, I will laser blast that star spangled ass into next week.

**Steve: **No this is pretty good for me. I have something to hold against you in the future. Just want to make sure that you don't get any more prank ideas for me…

**Tony:** Oh, Cap, I have so much dirt of you I could plant a vegetable garden in it. Don't make me pull out the fondue references. Because I will. Don't tempt me.

**Steve:** What 'dirt' could you possibly have on me? I'm Captain America, not some billionaire who spends every other weekend up on a table with strippers.

**Tony:** Woah, woah, woah. You're Captain America. What business do you have knowing what a stripper is?

**Steve:** Face it, Tony. Strippers are now apparently a big part of an American man's culture, as you have been so kind to show me.

**Tony:** Hey, it was either I explained it, or Clint demonstrated. I think I saved us all from a LOT of horror.

**Steve:** No, no, I guess that you were yet again too drunk to remember that Clint decided he would demonstrate anyway. On your coffee table. All while you were passed out on the floor. Great night for me, by the way. Thanks for that.

**Tony: **Any time, Cap. Are you ever going to actually get here? That wine is beginning to look really appealing right now…

**Steve: **I'm in the elevator! Don't drink that!

_~fin~_

**Please leave a review with your thoughts and suggestions!**


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